The "Episodes" have returned....

So it was brought to my attention today that I need to update my blog. The past week has had me in such a whirlwind--I have forgotten about my sweet blog friends. I am so sorry--I still love you all--but forgive me for being too tired to type!!

It would only be fair to enlighten you all on why I have been quiet this week. So grab your favorite blanket, get a hot cup of coco, and settle in for this bizarre week!!

I have to back track about a year to catch you up on the fine details. Last year on February 21, 2007 an event happened in my life that I had never imagined I would ever have to witness. Steve had come home from work. It was a Wednesday night, because we were going to watch American Idol. We got the kids to bed and settled in to watch Idol. Half way through the show, Steve got a headache--but this was not like any headache. He couldn't see, he was in extreme pain. I coaxed him into just going to bed. In the bedroom, he was standing at the dresser holding his head, and all of the sudden he just fell over and began having a seizure. I had no idea what to do. I was not even sure that he was having a seizure. I called 911. I know that the operator thought I was a bit of a loon. I was freaking out. She was having me do all these things, and the whole time she is telling me this--I am yelling at her telling her I need an ambulance NOW. What seemed an eternity, was only 2 minutes. His seizure that seemed like 10 minutes, only lasted 45 seconds. I wouldn't let the 911 dispatcher hang up with me until the ambulance got there. Somehow there was a comfort knowing that there was someone on the other end, and I was not alone. When the paramedics got there (7 of them!!! and my house is not big, and when these big guys came barreling in, it was much smaller. I began apologizing for the tight quarters.), so anyway when the paramedics got there Steve was just laying there very disoriented. He was rather uncooperative with the big men--but he truly had no idea what was going on and his head was still killing him. They took him to the hospital, but at this point they only had my word that he had a seizure. That night in the ER was not the funnest of times. The nurses and doctors I think thought we were crazy calling the ambulance for a headache. They gave him some pain meds and we were back home within 5 hours. Thankfully my dear friend Kelly was sweet enough to climb back in bed at our house so I could be with Steve at the hospital. The headache came back on Friday morning. We went to the doctor and he wanted Steve to see a Neuro. We were scheduled for later that afternoon. We got home, and my friend Allyson was over. Steve had gone into the bedroom and I heard a thump. I went in there to find him on the floor having a seizure. I called Ally in there to call 911. The seizure stopped and again, he was very disoriented. His head was killing him. At this point--I am a nervous wreck. The paramedics get there and they were super nice. As they get him on the truck, I am climbing into my own car to follow them. All of the sudden I see the ambulance truck shaking. The paramedic gets out to let me know they just witnessed him having a seizure. We had to get to the hospital fast. Ally stayed with the kids while we were off to the hospital. I remember calling my mom in hysterics. I don't really remember driving to the hospital that day, except that I was a mess. Once I got to the hospital, they would not let me back in his room for a long time. This was making me very nervous. Finally I was called back there. Come to find out he had 4 seizures on the ride to the hospital and 2 after they arrived to the hospital. This is not good on the brain. That many seizures in a day can cause a lot of damage, and I knew this. He was in the hospital for 5 days. Tons of test were run, and nothing was showing up. They had no idea why he was having the seizures. MRI's, CT's, EEG's, everything was clear. This was a relief--but what was going on? The next few months were troubling. He would have a seizure a couple of times a month. You never knew when they would happen, except they always happened in the night in his sleep. He was on countless different seizure medication which detierated his quality of life. He was either so dizzy he couldn't move, or he couldn't even keep his eyes open he was so lethargic. He told the doctors he was not going to the take the medicine anymore--he would rather be normal with seizures, than be so miserable on the meds and still having the "episodes", the seizures finally stopped, and he had not had one since September of 2007.
Last Tuesday I made Steve go to the doctor. He was beginning to have those same headaches, and I thought maybe this was a migraine for it to be the same time of year. He goes to the doctor (by himself) and calls me later to tell me that he needs to go the hospital, he had a seizure at the office. So I run up there to take him. Once at the hospital he had 2 more. You know--I have seen him have a lot of seizures in the past year, and it never gets any easier. Each one always feels like that first one. It is scary. The doctors have told me that they will stop, yet there is always that fear in the back of my head of "what if this one doesn't stop". They let him go home later that evening with the care of a new Neuro. Our original neuro refused to come see him in the hospital. This new Neuro has plans of different test to do for Steve. He also has put him on a new medication for people who have seizures from old injuries-(and with the amount of head concussions Steve has had in his lifetime, it could be a possibility that his brain is reacting to scar wounds). So here we are, in the same place we were a year ago. Still no answers--and unknown events of the day.
Sunday morning I woke up to him on the floor having a seizure. He had 3 that morning. For some reason these really had me spooked. They were each big, and of course they always seem to last forever, but I have learned to watch the clock when they happen. This is the only way I know how to keep my self in reality that time has not stopped. If he would have had 1 more that morning, I would have had to call 911. It is not good for your brain to continue to have seizures. For one, you don't breathe during a seizure. I am sure it not good on the heart either. Usually afterwards he is very disoriented. I have had bruises before trying to keep him down, or keeping his head from banging on the headboard, the leg of a chair, the cedar chest--whatever is in the way to try and prevent any more injury. It takes every ounce of energy to keep him from trying to get up after a seizure. He can't walk, so I do this to protect him--again, from more injury. It took 3 nurses at the hospital to keep him down. It is amazing what you can do when you have too! Once he has calmed down, he can't talk. He can't make out a word. I know this is very frustrating for him at the time, but the good news--he never remembers any of this. I know we are in the clear of the episode when he finally falls into a deep sleep. He is OK. When he woke up yesterday, he said he felt as if he had been beaten. He can always tell when he has had an episode by the way his body and tongue feel. I would give anything in the world for him to not have to go through this. As hard as it is on me to watch him go through this pain--it is even harder on him to live it. Over and over. It takes a few days for his brain to "come back to life" so to speak. I just don't get what is wrong. I am just thankful that the test have not shown anything. There are no tumors, and no aneurysms. So that is much to be thankful for. I have had to teach my girls (especially Aubrey) what to do in the instance he had a seizure and I was not home. I pray they never have to act on those instructions.
So as you can see--it has been a long week. Mentally just draining. I am a worry wart--and this just enhances that. I want him to live a long and healthy life. So if you are still reading this--please stop and say a little prayer for Steve tonight. I have no idea what I'd do without him!!