Ok, here we go!!!!!!

So this is the new "blogging" thing! It seems a little weird to me that anyone could be reading my thoughts, but then again, I have always been an open book!! That is something that has always driven Steve nuts. I have learned to be more guarded in what I share in order to respect my one and only.
So I guess here it is like having a one sided conversation with myself here. Haha, that is funny to me. I can remember when I was younger and I would get all upset about something, and I would stand in front of the mirror and talk to myself while watching myself cry about it. My parents used to think I was just nuts, and it is funny--I have caught my own daughter doing the same thing now as she is entering her "pre-teen" years. Why do we do this?? Why do we want to watch ourselves cry? Does it help the mood? Does it give us a peace to see the hurt in our face?? Thinking back on it, I have stood in the mirror many times and cried lots of tears of pain. I am so glad that those mirrors can't talk. Possibly that is the only place we can allow ourselves to be truly vulnerable. We know that the person staring back at us isn't going to judge how we feel, that person isn't going to talk back, and that person is going to keep that moment private.
For some of you who may not know much about me. I married the love of my life back in 95. I was so young, but I was in love. I remember the first time we met, and I was literally love struck. He felt the same, from what he has said. We hit it off, and I remember on our 2nd date, he leaned over to me while we were at the Hockey game and told me he was going to marry me. In an odd way, it did not scare me in the least bit. Which I thought was soo odd. I had dated a guy my senior year in high school that I thought was love, and when he started talking about marriage, I freaked and he was out. So you can see why I was shocked that this did not scare me (I was older too.) We were rarely a part. We did everything together, and had a blast. I guess when things were getting really serious, he froze. He broke up with me on my mom's 40th birthday. I was heart broken. It came from no where. I remember I called in to work the next day, I was too upset to even function--this was a new drama for me at that time of my life. He had truly broken my heart. I had some great friends. They helped heal those wounds, and got me back into the swing of life. It had been a few weeks since Steve and I had talked, and I went out with some friends one night. I got home around 2 in the morning, and my dad was still up (funny how he told me he was up because he couldn't sleep, although now as a parent looking back, he was always up when I got home regardless of the time with some excuse as to why he was still up--lol) So my dad tells me that Steve had been calling my phone all night (I had my own phone line, and the old kind of answer machine where you could hear all over the house). He had let me know that he finally answered and let Steve know I was not at home but out with some friends. Well, when I had checked, I had 14 calls from him that night. That was the beginning of our relationhip once again. Little did I know that at the time he was just freaking out because he had realized where our level of relationhip had reached, and it scared him so he thought it was just better to end it. Three months later, on New Years Eve right at midnight, Steve asked me to marry him. I could not believe it. I was shocked, I was excited, it was the best surprise ever!!! We were soo excited about the new adventure in our lives. I wanted a summer wedding, but my parents felt it best if we waited a little longer. We got married Dec. 16, 1995, 16 days before my 21st birthday. The wedding was beautiful, and was over in a flash it seems. We had a great first night as a married couple, we order a pizza and watched Willy Wonka in the hotel room. We got up early the next morning to get to the airport to go to Disney World. What a Honeymoon. Disney knows how to make the time magical for newleyweds!!!

Wow, I didn't mean to go into my life story--so I will stop the bore now. Maybe I will leave it there and pick it back up another time. So for now....more to come!!!